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Post by .•´¯`•þasђγ•._.•´ on Apr 6, 2004 9:57:39 GMT -5
read a story about an arranged marriage last night...kinda cool, didnt seem so bad...
made me wonder what everyones thoughts are, give your views for or against 
love marriages Vs arranged marriages
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Post by Dangermouse on Apr 6, 2004 10:31:05 GMT -5
Totally against it, should be explicitly upto the man and woman. Your parents have no right saying who you can marry and who you can not, just control freaks. Should be with someone you love and you want to spend the rest of your life with, how can your parents decide that for you?
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Post by .•´¯`•þasђγ•._.•´ on Apr 6, 2004 11:24:30 GMT -5
there are lotsa variations tho mousey...
you can have concerned older family members (usually father and uncles etc) decide for you at birth or;
you might meet someone who you are interested in and your family arranges meetings and talks about a marriage contract for you
or you can have matchmakers find suitable partners for you based on similar families, lives etc and you pick from a bunch
prolly other variations too...
matchmaking doesnt sound entirely bad really. kinda makes sense i guess. matchmaker always makes me think of jewish ppl..."matchmaker matchmaker make me a match, find me a catch  " lol
i guess the thing is.... is growing to love someone in marriage just as nice as loving someone before marriage ? prolly is i would assume.
i have two friends who had arranged marriages. one a lebanese muslim girl who married her cousin. they were promised to eachother at birth. seems to be a successfull marriage, two beautiful kids. personally i think he's a scumbag but w/e, they are happy.
another lady i worked with, an indian sikh...her husband was friends with her brother. he liked the look of her so he asked his father to arrange a meeting with her father to discuss the possibility of marriage. they went on several dates together all chaperoned. they both wanted to raise their families the same, they both wanted to move to australia, they both wanted all the same things in life so she said for her marriage was a contract to share a life together that was exactly what she wanted and was very businesslike. i asked her if she loved him and she said no lol not for a long long time and not until after the birth of her son, which was like 10 years after marriage. she said it became very passionate after that and they are very very happy and obviously in love.
both happy stories but there are bad too just like love marriages
personally...i like the buzz of love and lust and would have to feel pretty passionately about someone to marry them, so i dunno if an arranged one would work
then again, if i had an arranged one, perhaps i wouldnt be in the mess i am in now lmao
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Post by Alexander on Apr 6, 2004 11:42:00 GMT -5
well as long as there is divorce i dont see the problem  , lol i wouldnt want people forcing me to marry no-one im against the whole thing, but it does have the advantages that you dont end up marrying just any person who though u dont see it is a nasty piece of work |
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Post by Alexander on Apr 6, 2004 11:42:39 GMT -5
how can your parents decide that for you? quite easily , they do it all the time , lol |
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Post by Dangermouse on Apr 6, 2004 11:53:39 GMT -5
"they were promised to eachother at birth" Thats just even more ridiculous. Anyway pash, i thought you were dead against censoreship, censoring your right to choose who you want to marry  |
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Post by .•´¯`•þasђγ•._.•´ on Apr 6, 2004 12:00:01 GMT -5
lol mousey... certainly not the type of marriage for me. i was just trying to give you examples for discussion thats all. [/i][/color]
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Post by Alexander on Apr 6, 2004 13:18:23 GMT -5
i now declare you baby and baby  |
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Post by Webagent on Apr 6, 2004 13:26:40 GMT -5
arranged marriages are from stoneage lol.. do they actually still excist?
to have a succesfull relation you have to want to be together, if thats the case it probably doesnt matter much how you found eachother I guess, but if you have to be with someone you actually dont love.. thats not going to work, look at all those couples that tried for the sake of the kids.. wont work! (or you will be unhappy in your life)
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Post by Warrior124 on Apr 6, 2004 13:26:47 GMT -5
i now declare you baby and baby lol, we are now entering... the twilight zone ;D. In centuries before it was quite common for the parents to arrange marriages for their children. Sometimes it is even done to this very day. However, I believe that the decision should be left up to the man, and woman. I do however think that the man, and woman should ask their parents for their advice, however concerning the relationship, and marriage to the other person, and so forth, but the ultimate decision should lie with the man, and woman who are going to get married. |
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Post by Alexander on Apr 6, 2004 13:34:41 GMT -5
its still common pratice in hindu religion and some others too i think |
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Post by nita on Apr 6, 2004 19:13:09 GMT -5
i now declare you baby and baby lmfao |
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Post by Alexander on Apr 7, 2004 5:31:22 GMT -5
shhh nita or we'll arrange your marrige with fisher  |
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ebil
xTeam
^_^
Posts: 541
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Post by ebil on Apr 7, 2004 12:42:47 GMT -5
i think arranged marriages are &$*#%@!^#!
if someone told me i had to marry someone, i would give them the finger and go get married to someone else the same night, just to show i'll do what "I" want to do, and I WILL do what i wanna do, and i ain't gonna marry someone that i don't even know, and have to live the rest of my life with ;\
whoever thought of having arranged marriages deserves to be shot in the ass, and given a slap, and a rip. 2x.
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Post by Alexander on Apr 7, 2004 13:16:47 GMT -5
ebil and if you were religious such as hindu then by not going along with your arranged marriage you would burn in hell for all eternity when you die for it its also very common that if a kid went off with someone else the parents would disown them, kick them out the house, never speak of them again and would speak of them as if they were some kind of inhuman monster |
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, lol
